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Stuck in friend zone?

Stuck in friend zone?


(Kumlachew Derso)

Ahhh….. That feeling, when you realize that she slips out of your hand to another man’s, because you guys spent your time being just friends. Knowing that you developed romantic feelings for her/him but too afraid to reveal the truth because of fearing losing her/him forever, because of not knowing the unknown and because she will say no etc… As a result of these and other reasons you live in a limbo, winding up regretting later on.

How many of us experienced situations like the above mentioned one? Or are you still in it? Well, here are short tips that help you move on to the next stage of your relation whether it’s positive or negative.

1. Take care of your interest

You are experiencing unbalanced relationship, the feeling between you and her is not mutual so lessen your interest and be ready to walk away anytime. According to Waller and Hill’s book of least interested principle, after thorough investigation of relationship the one who is ready to leave has a tendency to lead the relationship better.

2. Get busy with other stuffs

When you spend more time with other friends and get busy with other arenas of life; and less with them, it makes you scarce. While doing so, if they value you, they constantly wants to know where you are and in what situation. Generally, if they miss you and act up on it, there is a glimpse of hope but if the opposite is true S/he is definitely is not in to you, so move on. The whole idea of making yourself scarce is backed by the principle of scarcity which stated that rare things will be valued more.

3. Competition

Meet other people from opposite sex, and tell this to your friend who you want to be boyfriend/ girlfriend; this might provoke the jealous and competition feeling. People tend to give due attention to something they feel that they might lose. But, if they did not react positively towards your endeavor or promote it, my friend s/he is not yours to take.

4. Encouragement

When s/he gets in a track that we want them to be, that is if we get out the friend zone in to being romantic acquaintance lets be rewarding by giving them our time, paying respect and attention and acts which will foster our positive coexistence flourish our relation. Whereas, when we see unwanted behavior taking away the rewards will alleviate the behavior; but this always should be entailed after discussion.

5. Be yourself

In order impress the potential boy/girlfriend and get them, don’t pretend in to being someone you are not, someone that you expect to be likeable. Doing so will result in losing them when they realize that you were just acting; above all you will lose yourself in the process.


ይህን ጽሑፍ በአማርኛ ለማንበብ እዚህ ይጫኑ፡፡